THE RECTORY OF ST MARY-THE-VIRGIN, PRIMROSE HILL, LONDON:  On a warm and sticky day in August 2007 Miss Penelope McPhee, housekeeper and faithful retainer to Father Euphonius Biggin and his endless stream of curates, was dusting her employer’s collection of rare French lithographs when she accidentally knocked over a reproduction Spode vase holding a large arrangement of dried chrysanthemums.  Bending down to clear up an unfortunate but increasingly frequent mess her eyes alighted on a misaligned section of floorboard under the eighteenth century mahogany table.  Inserting her finger into an oval knot-hole she lifted the piece of wood, and among the dust and general detritus she discovered a tightly-wrapped, tied and sealed bundle of papers which had clearly lain there undisturbed for many years.

Later in the study, on gingerly opening the mysterious sheaf with trembling hands, Father Biggin gave out a cry of amazement.  His five curates ran to his side, and looked on, breathless.  There, on the first yellowing page of hand-written script was the date 1910, and underneath it the unmistakable signature of Percy Dearmer.

Provenance and authenticity has been verified by numerous obscure departments, dons and liturgical experts at the University of Oxford.  According to Doctor Digby Micklethwaite, “This is classic Dearmer material.  Not only do we have additional notes to sections of his magnus opus, the Parson’s Handbook, we have countless musings on other ceremonial matters, sacramental theology, boat boys, notes to his wife and the coal man.”

Professor Alan Gregory (Texas Rangers) concurs, adding, “From what we can gather it appears that Dearmer was planning a second volume.  Why it was never published we may never know.  Stop that.”

The Pharisaios Journal has obtained transcripts and facsimile copies of much of this newly-discovered work, as well as permission to publish.  Over the course of the summer months we will bring you fresh liturgical insights into Ritualist thought and worship at the beginning of the last century.

We begin, next edition, with:  Handling the Blessed Sacrament with care.

Well there are some who say that I must breathe a sigh of relief when we get hinto this season of Trinity just because I don’t ‘ave to change the vestments, frontals and ‘angings from the green for weeks on hend doesn’t mean that there’s no hextra work haround the cathedral during the summer months to begin with there’s the hendless stream of visitors that need watching or helse they will go hastray in the transcepts (creating more mess to clean hup) then there’s the guest celebrants and preachers from hall round the Hanglican Communion you’s think that they’d hall know ‘ow to ‘andle a maniple wouldn’t you but oh no sir I’ve seen some pretty rum things done in the sacristy I can tell you mainly by members of the Church in Wales my nearest hand dearest Mrs Grindle who is trying hout a new 'omeopathic remedy is preparing summer treats hin the Refectory hand no doubt the new menu will be published once hit’s approved by Wenchoster Public ‘Ealth.  So you see hit’s a busy time.

Right!  That’s it!  No more rubbing Brasso hon the ‘Onourary Canons!